Do you know that joke about Gates comparing the prices of computers with cars? I don’t think he ever really said it, but it is a welknown joke. Supposedly Gates said at a Comdex show: “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.” According to the joke GM responded to this with some remarks of their own (see the second part of this blog). But seriously now: according to Engadget Microsoft-powered Fiat’s (well, I guess they are not actually powered by windows) are going to debut on the Geneva autoshow later this month. Oh my God: the horror! I mean: the combination of a Fiat and Windows? You might as well just shoot yourself in the brain as a pre-emptive measure! And I should know: I owned a Fiat!
Seriously: do we need to put even more software into our cars? I doubt it. According to the article the Fiat will be equipped with the following stuf:
The system, now known as Blue&Me, will initially control the car’s audio system, and will allow drivers to access Bluetooth cellphones via the car’s audio system, control the audio via voice commands and steering wheel-mounted controls, and have text messages read to them by the car’s computer. A glove compartment USB port will allow the audio system to be expanded using any mass-storage compliant device. Future upgrades to the system will include GPS control and weather and traffic-monitoring systems.
Anyway: a year ago or so Gates said he envisoned a car that won’t crash (see this article). Yeah right! And this comes from the man who can’t even stop his own products from crashing? Seriously: even Conan O’Brian is wondering: who is in charge of Microsoft? I mean: the man stole all his ideas (mostly from Apple), how did he come up with this one?
So back to the joke:
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated : “If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft; we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
- Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought “CarXP”, but then you would have to buy more seats.
- Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would only run on five percent of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single “General Protection Fault” warning light.
- New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
- The airbag system would ask, “are you sure?” before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
- Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
- You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn the engine off.
Amen!