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So what the heck ever happened to ‘customer first’ and all that? What is it that companies do not get about the ‘customer’ and the ‘service’ in ‘customer service’ ? Why is it so hard to actually help a customer, let alone give them the feeling they are welcome and appreciated? This week showed me another excruciating example of a total lack of coordination, service and apathy when I tried to get a hold of someone in sales at Adobe in the Netherlands. And all I want is some information about their Adobe Graphics Server. So first I just went to the website and searched for that product. Only to find out that they do not have any information about it in terms of pricing, implementation etc.. Then I made the mistake of e-mailing their dutch-custserv@adobe.com address. Return of the Living Dead!

I e-mailed them with my personal details so they could contact me and I stated what exactly I wanted to find out: in this case I wanted to know more about their Adobe Graphics server product. Within 24hours I got an e-mail back from them (in broken Dutch). They referred me to the website and to some stupid form that I should fill out and then – maybe – someone would contact me by mail. According to the guy – that was ‘the only thing he could do’. Mind you, he calls himself ‘Adobe Customer Service’. Although with a name like ‘Sumadi Bambang Oetomo’ he sounded more like a Nigerian 419-scammer.

So I replied that I thought that it would be better for them to hand over my information and my – pretty clear – questions to a sales rep and have them contact ME instead of the other way around. I mean: I identified myself as a potential customer for a high-end product and left all the information that was necessary for them to contact me: what else could they possibly need, right?

Well, a pattern started to develop here. Once again another 24hrs later (how many mails could their Dutch desk possibly receive?) I got a mail from yet another ‘customer support’ representative: Edwin Meeuwis. This guy who probably never finished high-school (I mean: a half blind monkey could do his job) replied that he could not fill out the form out for me, because of ‘missing information’. WTF? I mean: I understand that Sumadi Bambang Oetomo might have had trouble understanding my e-mail, but this guy clearly didn’t read my mail.

So I replied, once again, that I was not interested in filing out a form because I wanted a sales rep to call me. I mean: why should I do all the work? So I e-mailed back – again – stating that a) I did not wanted to fill out a form b) I had given them all info they needed and c) they should just give my damn personal info to some sales rep and had them call me.

This time some lady called Lianda Zuiker-Stam mailed back. She stated that ‘my last chance’ (whatever that meant) to contact sales would be to call 020 65 11200 to not choose an option from the automated system and then wait for a person to pick up, explain everything etc. etc. Once again they completely ignored my mail stating that THEY should just tranfer my info to sales.

At this time I almost exploded and wanted to call someone – ANYONE – at Adobe and cuss them out on the phone. FFS: what the hell was wrong with these BRAINDEAD people?

So I e-mailed back telling her ‘thanks’ (as sarcastically as I possibly could), but that I really thought this whole thing was ridicilous and that I had given them all the info and that they just seemed to refuse to understand that I wanted THEM to call me, not the other way around (I mean: a senile 80-year old, half blind turtle with a brain the size of a boiled peanut, would have been able to understand what I wanted) .

This time – for the third time – the same lady mailed back and explained that customer service is also ‘sales’ but that they do not have knowlegde of some products and hence I should contact another department….

I really went ballistic over this one. I mean: my pulse just shot through the roof doing 180bpm.

I mailed back and demanded to get a name of a person in charge of Customer Support. I told them – virtually yelling at them using CAPS – that I was the customer and I had given them all the information I deemed relevant 10 e-mails ago (if only the f*ckers would read) and that they should get of their lazy fat asses and have someone at Adobe call ME not the other way around.

Ok, so within about 2 hours I get another mail. ‘Thanks for my email’ and my information has been forwarded to an Account manager at Enterprise products and somone will contact you soon’.

Now, how f*cking difficult was that? My God! That was all I asked for in the first place.

What is wrong with these people? What is wrong with their brains?

What they should have done after my friggin’ first e-mail, was mail me back stating that they had forwarded my questions to a sales rep that would follow up my questions. And by the way: thanks for your interest in our products or some bs like that.

Anwyay: it is Friday now and no frigging phonecall so far. I will e-mail them one last time. I want a name and a number of their boss. Let him/her explain why the f*ck they have the balls to call themselves ‘customer support’.

So there you have it: Adobe is just another big company that is not able to even handle a simple request from a potential customer: to call him back and start doing sales.

One word: LOOSERS!!!