Today was my last day at work. Under normal circumstances I probably would have felt good about that. But I guess my mood is at an official low for this next millennium. I slept barely last night – thanks to a casual yet devastating phonecall at 00:45. So I woke up feeling like I had a huge hangover. To match my mood the weather has changed into regular Dutch autumn: falling leaves, dark, cold, windy and rainy. The sort of Dutch weather I always joke about that is avoided best by commiting suicide by hanging yourself from a nice, big old oak tree or jumping in front of a train – if you can find one that is running on time.
Any positive feelings I had about starting my new job (finally leaving the tar pit that I called my work and having the prospect of a month vacation) has left my body – for personal reasons I won’t go into details. Suffice to say that I feel like the little guy in the picture: crushed.
And at work it wasn’t any better. Ever since they fired more than 30 people a week ago (although: technically they are not fired yet: they announced that they **want** to fire them) the mood at work has changed dramatically. In fact you can find more joy walking straight into a morgue. You will get more respons and ‘fun’ vibes from a corpse than the people at my – now officially – ex-employer. I guess everyone went into survival-mode. To top things of there was no one there that wished me luck or showed even the slightest interest. Except of course the ones that I shook hands with to tell them I was leaving.
So now I am tired, depressed and I feel like I was hit by a train. I’m sure I’ll recover, pick up the pieces. But once again it will leave a scar on my soul. Or as someone put it: “Life is a bitch, and then you die.”
Ain’t that the truth…